Soulmate Is Not Orchestrated By The Divine
Do you believe in a soulmate? Twin Flame? Do you believe relationships are fated? Do you believe that they are serving a higher purpose?
Let’s talk.
“Life is a filter reflecting your innermost thoughts.”
We are never drawn by accident to those relationships we tend to give names such as twin flame, a soul contract, soulmate, the one and so on. The intimate relationship serves a deep unconscious psychological need. According to John Gottman, what we are looking for in a relationship is not love, it is familiarity. It is not a coincidence that we bond with the people who carry similar unconscious blueprint that is carried forward from early life experiences.
As children, sometimes exposure to love is a chaotic experience. This is one of the reasons why most people are stuck in toxic relationships because the familiarity we seek is often destructive. In many cases, as the relationship deepens, people tend to suppress and withdraw not to rock the boat and in some cases, match the behavior that drives the chaotic dynamics, and most of the time, we try to change the other person because of the change we deeply crave.
The difficult relationship you are in now is the mirror of your unresolved internal conflicts in ways you cannot see. The hard truth is, everyone is your mirror. Every relationship is the representation of your inner relationship and beliefs staring right back at you, including the abusive relationships. At the root of all, you will find a severe lack of self-worth.
The conditioned childhood blueprint becomes the shadow projected in intimate relationships. The wounded inner child plays out, again and again, seeking acceptance, validity, and attention, desperately holding onto irrational, self-destructive repetitive relationship patterns reinforcing the emotional deficit and rejection.
As Rumi once said, “Your task is not to seek for love, merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” External events mirror the internal state. Since our experience of life is an experience of thought, our predominant beliefs dictate reality. There are no exceptions in the cosmic flow. You are the master of your own perceived reality.
Perhaps believing in the higher purpose of the dysfunctional relationships may offer comfort, however, meaningful relationships don’t come from fate, destiny or a supreme being. Meaningful relationships come from within, come from our attitude, come from our willingness to accept our own shadows and letting go of the superstition and practice consistently investing in the relationships that matter. How can we love the other when the love within is confused, conflicted and lost?
Love and Gratitude.
